I remember eating one time a day everyday at my grandma's house
I remember knowing my real mom for the first time at the age of 10
I Know I grew up without knowing my father and still I do not know him
I remember grandma's cries of sadness for the death of my favorite uncle
I remember Grandma telling me I’m a descendant of King Nanguin who is her grandfather
I remember calling me Nanguin, I asked her why that name never heard it before
She replied because “it’s your name now you just like my grandfather.
So was your uncle who passed away. His spirit chose you to carry on his name”
I remember asking myself if we’re royalty then why are we so poor.
I remember mama little sister telling stories of her childhood.
I remember auntie telling how the elders (brothers and sisters) hated grandma because she was the favorite of the family.
I remember auntie telling me after my great grandma, princess NADÉ KONÉ died. Grandma’s sisters and brothers took all the heritages and put my grandma into the worst condition.
I remember auntie telling me that grandma left the kingdom with all her kids and my grandfather was just a coward doing nothing to retaliate.
I remember auntie telling me that grandma was trading all golds my princess NADÉ KONÉ left her to take care of them  
I remember my aunt baby born being sick and no hospital could treat her
I remember her deceased from her sickness
I remember being arrogant, selfish and heartless toward my little cousin almost choke him to death
I remember being woke by a loud scream
I remember it was the last breath of my mom sister in law
I remember watching my sick mom sister in law dying right in front my eyes
I remember her sinking from within
I remember living at my uncle's house with his mean wife
I remember her giving me scraps of food to eat or treats me bad when my uncle goes to work
I remember mocking a kid at my school for being disabled
I remember skipping school and go to my hidden spot
I remember climbing the big old mango tree go all the way up
I remember sitting up there and draw in my book everyday
I remember feeling good from all the thing going on in my life

I remember the kind hearted old lady with a restaurant who was giving me foods everyday
I remember being this kid asking myself where are my mom and dad
I remember acknowledging my cousin waking up with cries every night for the death of his father
I remember my grandma's friend telling me that my father abandoned my mom when she was pregnant
I remember waking up one night in a civil war in my country
I remember we were the only people left and few others hiding while everyone else abandoned the neighborhood
I remember the gunshots and seeing bullets flying in the air, the bombs shaking the ground
I remember blacking out thinking we were gonna die
I remember us starving, hiding, scared and isolated nowhere to go and no time for sleeping
I remember one morning exiting our hideout curious to see what was going out there
I remember it hitting me really hard a deep down unable to breath
A huge truck full of people being massacred by mercenaries front of eyes on the street
I remember hiding behind a broken brick wall
I remember all the burned and dead bodies on the street during the Civil War in Ivory Coast
I remember my mom older brother beating up my grandma
I remember the time I came to the United States
I remember living with my mom here in U.S inside a basement in the bronx filled with roaches, flies and flooded with water feces everywhere
I remember mom struggling to find something for me to eat
I remember her looking at me smiling
I remember she was feeling deep down this isn’t the life she wanted for me
I remember the stereotypes in high school and, me acknowledging for the first time that I was black
I remember mom telling me the kind heart old lady who used to give me foods passed away
I remember waking up early in the morning and knowing that my grandma passed away
I remember sinking within me with all these pains
I remember trying to kill myself knowing that my best friend who is my grandma has passed away
I remember trying to escape all the pain through laughter but it kept bugging me again and again
I remember not being able to sleep every night cuz I was scared of the nightmares
My pains were my nightmares, they were haunting me
I remember every time they tried to catch me I would jump off the bed and wake up
I remember holding a sharpie pen to paint on a canvas for the first time
I remember breathing for the first time after it and smiling
I remember this voice from within telling me I’m always with you no matter what happens to you let the colors of your heart breathe
I remember that voice it was my grandma she was talking to me
I could hear her sweet voice, I could feel her sweet voice
I remember promising her that I was gonna build her dream house
I remember she was not here anymore but she was here and always will be.